I know some of you are thinking, "Yaaaayyyyyy!!!"And isn't it nice that we don't have to ONLY learn from our trials? It just goes to prove that you can learn valuable lessons anytime you're willing.
This story, is a shopping story.
You should understand that I generally find clothes shopping to be, if not a trial, a bit of a challenge. First of all, the fashion world produces shockingly few options for an endowed Latter-Day Saint woman and I'm sure you can relate. Second, I'm 5'11," so clothes that would be perfectly modest on someone else become belly shirts, Daisy D's and miniskirts on me. So, you can imagine my delight the day my favorite department store had a sale on beautiful cap-sleeve dresses that--Get this!--actually came down to my knees! It's true. What a moment.
Fantastic! Now all I had to do was bring the necklines up (fun visit to the fabric store) and I could wear them. I hurried to get one of them ready. My ten-year high school reunion was days away and one of the events was a dressy dinner. Nice timing, right?
Since my sewing machine was 50.5 miles away with my sister, I drove over to borrow it back. We sewed at her house all afternoon and finally I tried it on.(The dress, not the machine.) It worked! (I don't need dressmaking rodents--Cinderella's got nothing on me.)
There was just one problem: I didn't have shoes. Well, not pretty ones, anyway. I only had sensible flats in brown and black, which, if they didn't look particularly bad with the outfit, certainly did nothing to enhance it. You know how you put a bouquet of flowers in in a Snoopy mug and it doesn't look as nice as a vase? Shoes are like that. They didn't make my dress less pretty but the overall effect was wanting. (Details! They make you or they break you. Even Cinderella's Godmother knew this. That's why she changed the drab, flat work shoes into delicate glass slippers. Okay, maybe Cinderella does have something on me. A Fairy Godmother would rock. I hate combing my hair.)
By now you're probably all thinking, "So, buy some shoes, Woman!" Well, it wasn't that simple. Nice shoes range in price from $30, if you're lucky, to $65 on sale, without going into designer brands. I'd already spent a good chunk of money on the dresses, the dinner tickets and various other things moms buy, and didn't have a lot left. It works that way when you're hubby is under employed and you have two kids.
My husband actually told me I should wear my black flats. I started thinking about my school days, dreaded being made fun of, and all the old insecurities came back. I reminded myself that nobody had ever been mean to me in high school. I had, in fact, rather liked it. Even if I didn't have any friends and nobody paid any particular mind to me, at least nobody had been cruel. My fears were all in my head. I told myself that nobody would be dumb enough to say anything about my shoes, and if they did, I could tell them to grow up.
But I still wanted nice shoes. I wanted them for me. I wanted my ensemble finished. Complete. That night, I reverted into a little girl, and prayed for shoes. Shoes I didn't really need. Sparkly ones, with a heel--but not too tall a heel--and in my size (the most common women's shoe size in America and always the first size to run out) and on sale. It was a tall order. Shoes in my size always run out extra fast if they are sparkly, or on sale, or both. I went to bed determined to try my best. There was one day left before the reunion.
The next morning was my day off. I took my children to school, then I went shopping. It was so early that most retail outlets were closed. I tried the neighborhood stores with no luck. They only had more flats. The department stores had nothing in my price range. The discount stores had nothing in my size. Everything was too tall. I was tired, hangry, discouraged and disgruntled when I made up my mind to wear my black work flats. I would be just as merry in plain shoes as in fancy ones.
As I was leaving the mall, I noticed a little store I hadn't planned to visit, and was pretty sure they wouldn't have what I wanted. A miracle, that is. Still, I had a feeling. I felt impressed that I should go and look.
They had plenty of pretty shoes; tall, expensive, tiny, but there was one, (1,) ONE pair on clearance. They were sparkly. They fit me! They had only tiny, one-inch heels. They were $10. I bought them on the spot.
As I came away, I opened my heart to a realization entirely new to me: Heavenly Father cares whether or not I feel pretty. He helped my little girl heart find her dream shoes.
It was such a little thing. It won't change the world, build the kingdom or even save my soul. It was a pair of not-very-comfortable shoes and you might say it didn't really matter.
It mattered to me.
Heavenly Father had answered my prayer, just for me. With all the big prayers that don't seem to get answered, with the marriages that are not saved, the fathers and mothers who never come home, and the millions of people who live in danger and poverty, and all the children who have no shoes at all, a flimsy pair of heels seems petty and trivial. It IS petty and trivial. But it was never about the shoes or shopping. It was about me, knowing that my Father cares about me.
In all of MY unanswered prayers, Why can't he get a job? Why did my babies die? Why are some people so mean? it was as if my Heavenly Father had wrapped his arms around me, saying, "I'm still here. It will be alright. Be patient a little longer." That little thing helped me get through the big things. Maybe it did save my soul.
Book of Mormon prophet Alma explained this principle to his son Helaman. Alma 37:6 reads "Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."
I'll always be grateful that I obeyed the prompting that led me to my Father's love. Through small and simple things, he taught me that I am valuable to him. We are all valuable to him and he's teaching us all the time. Heavenly Father is there for us. He has always been there for us and he will continue to be. You may learn it while washing socks or driving to work or eating a delicious dinner. I learned it while shopping. May we all learn and know how loved we are. This is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
