1. Sad Babies Get Hugs
When we're sad, we don't want to be told that there's no reason to feel the way we do. We don't want to be brushed off. Instead, adopt a childcare strategy and HOLD/HUG and don't let go until we feel better. Pity may not be a party but we'll cry if we want to.
2. Babies Are Praised for Every Achievement
"Oh, look! Baby wiggled her toes! So sweet." Call me crazy, but I don't much care if an adult wiggles his/her toes.
Unless they couldn't before. It's the adversity, the challenge that makes achievement noteworthy and I think everyone deserves some praise. I'm sure everyone wants it.We all need to celebrate our little victories and we don't mind if a friend celebrates with us. Let's hear some more, "Evelyn made bread and it turned out really well" and "Jack really wanted to sock Fred in the nose and he didn't do it. Way to go, Bro!"
3. Babies Are Endlessly Forgiven
Probably nobody would speak to me if I routinely (or even once) woke them up at night or threw food on the wall. Or dumped all the silverware on the floor, or finger painted with poo. (FYI, I have not desire to do this. Some of you may be unsubscribing right now just because I mentioned it.)
Forgiveness doesn't mean putting yourself in harm's way or admitting that someone else is right when they're not. Rather, it means not dwelling on the negative, and trying to look for the good in others.
Fact is, babies regularly do really rude things that they don't know will bother you. When they're hungry or don't feel well, they don't care what bothers you. (Even if they've learned that you have feelings.) And they get forgiveness without even asking, because you love them and give them the benefit of the doubt. You kinda have to since unfriending them isn't an option.
What about grownups? Can we give them the benefit of the doubt? "Did she KNOW saying that would hurt your feelings?" "Did he MEAN to tick you off when he walked in without removing his shoes?" Or you might say, "Yeah, she was witchy, but she's got post-partum depression so I'll give her a break. I need forgiveness too." Friends, it should be this way. Unfriending everyone isn't an option.
4. Toddlers Say the WORST Things and People Think It's Funny
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| My baby on the phone. |
I work in a daycare and find my charges very entertaining. They say the funniest things! Even when their statements are AWFUL, I rather enjoy it because I view them with a certain tolerance. They aren't meaning to be hurtful, they just have no filter.
Sometimes, adults have no filter. Whether it's a slip of the tongue or lack of sleep, it happens to the best of us. Can we laugh it off, or do we make them "an offender for a word?"
Let's enjoy it. They are probably not dumb, rude, socially backward, dirty minded or evil. They only lost their filter for a moment and when it comes back, you get to laugh really hard with them, as their face turns red as a beet. And then you get to forget all about it.
5. Babies Are Accepted--Just the Way They Are
Nobody says, "My baby is such a nerd" or "Wow, I hope he's not going to wear his hair like that." They're beautiful and perfect just for being themselves. And so is everybody. Different strengths and weaknesses are what make our world amazing. Or, as my adorable seven-year-old says, "If everyone were the same, I wouldn't know who was Joe."
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| Denny in a bee costume and his uncle's hat. |
6. Babies Get Babied
When we're sick or having a hard day, who takes care of us? Mostly, no one. And that's okay. But sometimes, we need a little more TLC. I'm a mom and I take care of everyone, but nobody takes care of the mom. It can get rough. That's why we should kick our relationships up a notch and care for our friends sometimes.
I'll never forget the time I was in college and working, having a rough time. I was living away from home and trying to be grown up. One Sunday before finals, I was exhausted and had just about had it. I felt like I couldn't go home and face all my responsibilities that day. I asked my friend if I could go home with her and she eagerly agreed. Her brother drove us from the church and into a kind of paradise.
Their home was a peace-filled, love-infused domicile of Christmas Spirit. The mom smiled sweetly, spoke gently and fed me dinner. I helped them decorate their trees and afterward I snuggled up on the couch under a hand-crocheted afghan while the dad told us all a bedtime story. We were all adults but we loved it. And I--- I got to be part of a real family for a little while. I was important. I was included. I was going to be okay.
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| Riding the North Pole Express |
Even today, almost nine years later, this kind family are dear to me. They have become my family.
Sometimes, my mother-in-law voices her regret that maybe she was too pushy with regard to her eldest son's marriage, that maybe she hurried us into it. As a matter of fact, she did, but not in the way she supposes.
I might never have fallen in love with her son if...
If they hadn't all been so wonderful. My only regret is that I couldn't love them all sooner.
(I just asked hubby if he had any regrets and he said no. "I love you and I love our boys. You're still so good for me." I guess he doesn't feel pushed or hurried.)
Bestowing this kind of tenderness on people can have drastic consequences:
They just might love you forever.
