Why Abortion Is Never Okay

Right away someone is going to tell me why abortion is okay. But don't tell me. Tell that to the child.

Nobody ever does tell the baby their reasons for killing him or her. It's far easier to pretend that there is no baby, no real person. But if somebody were honest enough to do it, the explanation would go like this:

John, (or substitute your favorite name) I find this world to be not that great. I have decided to kill you so you'll be better off. Or, John, this world is overcrowded in the opinion of some people I know and so I'm getting rid of you. John, because you don't  look like me and can't survive without oxygen, food and shelter, I'm going to end your life. John, I think I might find out later that your IQ is well below average. You're gone. John, someone you've never met got raped. This really sucks for you. John, I choose you to die in my place on the twenty-third of this month at eleven o'clock. You don't really have a choice. John, your existence complicates my life and we can't have that. John, I don't want you around so you'll need to die now. Thanks for understanding.

You might have noticed that the child never responds. Because they can't. Just like the trees, the whales, and the entire endangered species list. Somebody has to speak for them.

I speak for the babies.

Empathy teaches us compassion. You might find some here. You might also find some hard truths and unwanted perspective. I won't sugar coat it. Whether it's poisoning the child in the womb, inducing a massive heart attack, or taking a syringe to the brain, there is nothing cute, sweet or polite about an abortion.

1.  Abortion Is Not A Solution. Abortion Requires A Solution

I am filled with sorrow and horror to think that anyone suffers the disgusting and horrific experience of rape. Some of my dear friends have experienced such outrage. I have compassion toward them and anger toward the evil and godless individuals who perpetrated the crimes. More than that, I have faith in God. I believe He can heal the hearts and minds of all who turn to Him for help. He will deal justly with those who commit sin.

Aborting a baby because you've had atrocious crime committed against you, is committing another atrocious crime, literally visiting the sins of the fathers upon the heads of the children. Sorry, but that's not the answer. And it won't remove the scars. Healing from rape will take years whether or not there is a pregnancy AND whether or not the pregnancy is terminated. In view of the fact that so many women feel post-abortion grief, a termination is counter productive to emotional healing. You can read about post-abortion grieving (and physical complications)  here, here, here, here and here.

Rape victims can seek help and eventually heal. It can take a lifetime, but God can heal them. Dead babies can't heal from being dead.

It may be best, for financial, emotional or other reasons, for a woman to NOT have and raise a child, especially when she had no choice, no intention whatever of making one. Women who view the pregnancy with anger, as a reminder of a horrific experience, should place the child for adoption. It's better for the mother and the child. Women who do keep the baby and love him/her, experience a blessing. They receive something good even in the face of so much bad.

2. Infanticide, the Practice of Killing Babies After Birth: Extreme Late-Term Abortion.

In some countries,such as India and China, baby girls are killed simply because the parent(s) wanted a boy. In their worldly sense, boys are more desirable because they are strong, can work hard and don't require a dowry.

"Outrageous!" we say. "Girls are worth just as much as a boy." But we are just as guilty. In the worldly sense of our culture, someone has decided that the mother is more valuable than her child. The mother can work, therefore she costs less. She is stronger and can work harder. The baby, financially speaking, is of much less value. And to the pro-abortion and pro-infanticide crowd, this is all that matters.

To those who truly value equality, no life is more important than another. Everyone deserves a chance.


BUT, BUT, BUT

"But if the mother dies, the baby will die anyway." Probably. But that is true in every pregnancy. We don't know that the mother will die. In an abortion, we don't know that she will live. Here's an idea. What if we stopped deciding who will live and who will die? What if we gave them both a chance?

"But if she has other children, who will take care of them if she dies?" If the mother cares about her children so much, why would she consider killing one of them? Does she really place the value of one of her flesh and blood as lower than another? I'm glad she's not my mom.

"But the mother has people depending on her. People who love and need her." You know why? Because she had a chance to make something with her life. Because she was born. Somebody loved her enough to let her live. Someone did that for me. I am a mother and willing to protect my children even if it means risking my own life. I know that someday I will die. And I can think of no better way to leave this earth than in saving the life of someone else. But I choose that. Nobody is choosing it for me. Abortion takes away somebody else's choice.

3. "What if the child will be born with severe mental disabilities"? 

You mean, what if a child is not the same as everybody else? Welcome to the club. Everyone is different. That doesn't mean we kill them. When a society measures a person's worth based on factors beyond their control, there is something radically wrong with that society. It screams of Nazism.

BUT, BUT, BUT

"The child with such disabilities will likely not live very long anyway." Oh, you value a long life, do you? And exactly how will aborting the child help with that?

"The child's quality of life will be limited." How do you know what the child thinks about his/her life? How did you decide that the lack of some opportunities disqualifies a person from ALL opportunities?

"The child will live in a vegetable state. I would rather die than live that way." You would rather. How do you know the child would rather? Even people in comas can sense things around them. They can hear music, and kind words and funny stories, They can feel loved. They can perceive positive emotions and messages. There are special teachers and schools for educating even bedridden, seemingly comatose individuals. They can learn. They can enjoy their world. I would not rob them of that.

"Disabilities are a huge medical cost." Yes, but there is help. Private organizations and publicly funded disability aid are both available to help cover expenses. And aborting a person in order to save money is the same as killing a person and taking their money.

"But it's expensive for the taxpayers." Stop being a Nazi. Cut taxes and people could afford to give more to charities. Either way, the child does not deserve to die.

"It's too hard to parent a disabled child." And lots of people do it and like it. Read more here. Parenting is not about what you want. It is and has always been a calling of self sacrifice and generosity to others. A truly unselfish person does not create a new life without assuming responsibility for its well being. Such a person will accept the child that they made no matter what kind of challenges come with it.

4. Yes, We Are Talking About A HUMAN BEING

 "It's just a clump of cells. It would never survive on its own." When did you begin judging humanity based on size and shape? That's shallow and abusive.  If you think it's okay to kill a living thing, because it can't survive outside of certain conditions, you've just summed up all of life on Earth.

If it's made of living cells, it's alive. A clump of cells with a heartbeat. Just like you were once. If it's human DNA, it's human. It's a person, not a clump of cells or a tumor. Truly, it would never survive on its own. (Especially if you kill it and deliberately remove it from the womb.) That's all the more reason why we should protect and help it survive. That's why we have parents. And hospitals. We should do all within our power to help save lives. Even small ones.

5. Save the Earth. Stop Having Sex

 Abstinence. It's the only surefire way to prevent pregnancy. You've got to do your part in protecting the earth. Oh, you don't want to do that? How selfish you are. You care about the earth only until it becomes inconvenient for you. Don't tell me you feel like your needs are more important than the earth. No human life could ever, ever, ever be more important than this fantastic rock we live on. (Or don't live on--depending on if we've been aborted or not.)

Have you considered the environmental implications involved in the chemicals used in birth control? The manufacture of the drugs? And the condoms? And the packaging? (It's not sustainable.) And the excesses of having an unnecessary medical procedure! Shame on you.

All sarcasm aside, higher populations do not hurt the earth. It's what the people do while on the earth that makes the difference. Stop the pesticides and herbicides and all the toxic and unnecessary chemicals used in so many factories. Have some kids and teach them sustainable practices so they can help the future generations on the earth when you are no longer around. That would help the earth.

"But there are already so many children in orphanages. It would be irresponsible to make any of my own." Actually, it's only irresponsible if you kill or don't take care of them. Feel free to adopt as well.

6. Being Aborted Is NEVER BEST FOR THE CHILD

 It is not your job to keep people from experiencing a world that you think is not great. It is your job to make it great. Maybe they would grow up and agree that the world is not perfect. But they might love it. Smelling a flower, playing in the snow, giving a hug, hearing a story or watching the stars are all free and bring delight to children and adults alike. A little gratitude and optimism go a long way.

The joy of holding your own child, (and the joy of making one,) the pleasure of sweet music, gorgeous sunsets, funny comedians, amazing feats of courage and skill, and the light that comes into the eyes of a person when they realize that they are loved, are all denied the aborted human being. All the pleasures and happiness you have, all the things you enjoy, you would take them away?

(By the way, if you hate the world and wish you had been aborted, please seek professional counseling. Your life is valuable.)

The pro-abortion arguments that make no sense at all: 

"BUT the child might lack opportunities." Dead children have NO opportunities.

"The world is dangerous and full of evil." Yes, People kill their own children. 

"Life is full of disappointments." You don't kill people because you are disappointed. 

Abortion is wrong and there's no excuse for it. And thank you for not being my parent.

I'm Not The Mom I Planned On Becoming

If there were such a thing as perfect parents, our kids would develop a false impression of the world and unhealthy expectations for themselves. Good thing we never come close. If there's one thing I've learned, it is that failure is good. Allowing our kids to fail helps them learn. Allowing our kids to see us fail, helps them develop realistic expectations about themselves and other people. Parenting is a balancing act and sometimes "we all fall down." I sort of wish I'd known that earlier in life. Then again, it might have reduced some of my most glorious failures. Epic, you might say.

I always wanted to be a mom. As a kid, I got into the habit of taking care of people when they were sick, and giving them hugs when they were sad. I learned how to talk to kids so they would understand. I taught my younger siblings how to write their names. My mother saw to it that I became an expert diaper changer, and tried her best to make me a good housekeeper. I read books on child rearing, health and nutrition, education, discipline and fun craft ideas.

Pity it did me no good. Any head start I ever had on the whole mom thing was screamed and diaper-changed out of me in the first week of motherhood.

 Back to square one. Never mind what all the other babies like. What does this baby like? This baby liked being held at all times. This baby cried from boredom and hated being alone. (Funny. He still does.) This baby made me take all of my parenting theories and throw them out the window. Here are some examples.

1. I will never yell. My child will learn how to handle anger and other emotions from watching me and I must set a good example. 

Whoever came up with that one is living inside a rainbow made of flowers and fairy dust. Or they just never had kids. Infinite patience does exist, but mortals don't have it. Should we yell all the time? No. Should we try to keep our cool? Yes. But here's the deal. The kid's job is to find out what your limits are. They will never stop pushing until they find it. We are human. We fail, often miserably.

Here's what I learned: If I learn my own limits, (often thanks to my son's prodding,) I can set healthier ones that never approach the screaming zone. If I must yell, I can leave the room.

What happens when I fail in all my ambitions and yell in spite of myself? I am teaching my children that people are not perfect, but they can say sorry and try to do better. I am also teaching them how to get along in a society of imperfect people. Learning that other people have anger and limits is a benefit for kids.


2. If I never hit, my kids will never learn to hit.

Wrong. Both my kids started hitting at about nine months and I don't know where they learned it. They were hitting me. I thought with my first one that if I never reacted, he would get bored and stop eventually. Not so much. My son's hitting continued until he got a firm swat on his hindquarters. Then it was over. He had found the boundary. That seems backwards, doesn't it? Actually, it's just teaching natural consequences. He can learn in the safety of his own home that he can't go around hitting people. (I did teach my kids that they can stand up for themselves if they get bullied. They are, in effect, teaching natural consequences to other kids when they do. The idea that self defense is "bullying back" is all nonsense.)

3. If I Never Buy Toy Guns, They Will Never Play Fighting Games

Well, they didn't learn it from me. But they did learn it. My sons played Army, Cops and Robbers, Cowboys, Pirates and every other game that involved fighting. They made action figures fight each other. As there were no toy weapons in the house, they used their fingers as a guns and pointed them at me. Bang goes that theory.

What I learned: They're boys and inherently interested in fighting and protecting. One will make a great Jedi someday (that's what he wants to be.) The other might be a ninja. (What does a ninja do, anyway?) Or maybe he'll be a brilliant military serviceman or law enforcement officer. As long as he uses his powers for good and doesn't go to the Dark Side, it's alright with me.

4. I'm Going to Be Such a Fun Mom

If chores and homework are fun, then yes. Actually, I am pretty fun, but not as often as they or I would like. We go to museums, farms, games, movies zoos, aviaries. We have picnics and outings. We have read-a-thons and awesome pretend games. But we also have work to do, things to learn and bills to pay. I can't always be with them. (I have a job, need breaks, and they don't always want me.) And I say no. A lot. (Candy is bad for you! I'm sorry!)

What I learned: Cleaning house can be fun too. If I can teach my children to be glad in work and play, to entertain themselves, to come up with fun ideas on their own, and to keep a house and budget in order, I am preparing them for a good future.

5. It Will Be Easy to Tell When Discipline is Necessary And When Not

Fact: I struggle with it all the time. The balancing act again. Did he do that just to be mean or does he have some other reason? Is this really a big deal? Did he really even do it? Maybe he needs to learn these consequences on his own. They will work it out by themselves. Maybe I should just give him a break. I would hate to be in trouble all the time. The thing is, I thought I would be a lot more strict than I am. I hate giving punishments. I would rather listen, reason, explain, hope for the best, and give another chance. They really do want to make me happy.

What I learned:  Most of my kids' naughties don't require any reaction from me because they are just not very important. Sometimes they just want to make me laugh. Often, they want my attention. Like me, kids need to make mistakes in order to learn. As they grow, so does their agency. They need to practice using their agency because they have a whole lifetime of decision making ahead of them. Basically, my job is to teach correct principles so they can govern themselves.

6. Parenting Will Be Hard

You have no idea! I had no idea how hard it was until I did it. I've been doing it for seven years and it still throws me curve balls. Every day. I have rarely spent so much time running, or on my knees. There's always a bigger question, always a greater challenge. The fact that we've made it this far is nothing short of a miracle.

What I'm learning: I can do hard things. Sometimes I look ahead into an uncertain future and think, There's no way I can do this. Later on, I look back and think, I can't believe we did this. I am not alone. God, angels, my husband and a host of other moms and dads have got my back. We can do this.


Am I a good mom? I'll just ask my kids.

They say, "Yes, because you feed us" and "I like Mommy because she's nice, but she spends too much time on the computer." (And "My feet are messing up the bed because they're too strong. I need different feet. Somebody needs to take me to the feet store and take these ones off and put new ones on. I know why they're so strong. It's because I ate so much salad.") There you have it. Even in my failures, I am still being a good mom. And it's time to get off the computer.