Dearest Family, Whose Side Are You NOT On?

If you're reading this, you probably don't hate me. Yet.

Now, take a minute, breathe deeply and decide how far you want to go with this. You can quit now and nobody will care. (Nobody will know.)

Still reading? Alright. Here it is.

I'm tired of people fighting. I'm more tired of my family fighting, and I will not fight. Not trying to start anything. On the contrary. I'm so, so, so tired of hearing about it. All of it. All of them. After all these years, can't it be DONE?

I'm probably not referring to whatever conflict you might be thinking of. I mean, what are the odds, with hundreds of disputes over the years, (and probably at least 20 going on right now) and most of them never coming to my ears? Not to mention, I've been studiously avoiding contention for years.

However, sometimes I happen to get wind of it, and it saddens me. The old stress of trying to make sense of your loved ones being enemies to each other, is exhausting.

 I spent my entire childhood in a fight. There was no question of neutrality or of not involving the children. You had to pick a side. And you always knew which side you had to choose. (Whoever you were with at the time, duh.) There was an ever-changing list of people to not think well of. Then, somebody in the family would pass away, unspecified persons would presumably feel the shortness of life, and make up at the funeral, becoming bosom buddies. And then find someone else to hate. The reasons were not of eternal value.

I'm not in favor of taking sides. There's only one side that really matters: The Lord's side.


 I'm not referring to anyone in particular because, to my limited perception, everybody did it at some point. I don't know whose "fault" it was and I don't care. At all. I'm not here to pass judgement. Anybody with half a heart, who knows even a portion of what my family has been through, would make allowances for a desperate need to feel safe, valued and be able to control something.

Any reasoning person would discern that the lack of these necessities would give rise to heightened vulnerability, increased desire to hide it, and  a lot of misunderstandings trying to protect it. Perhaps even some really rude and desperate behavior. I'll say it. We had a really freaking crappy childhood and it would cause anybody problems.

Take My Hand by Greg Olsen
 https://www.gregolsen.com/gallery/take-my-hand#optioncontent

The thing is, we're not children anymore. We don't have to continue in that way. We have pretty darn good lives, when all's said and done. It's not survival of the fittest anymore. We don't need a "side" to know our self worth. We don't need a bunch of loyal followers to let us feel RIGHT. Heck, we don't even have to BE right. We're on this earth to learn, not to be perfect. We can repent. We can feel safe. We can forgive.

I've forgiven all the people who hurt me, and I hope they forgive me. Life is short, and we are here to love. There is freedom in giving up control.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, if you have a fight, would you leave me out? When families fight, nobody wins. And we're all family, aren't we?